Monday 7 December 2009


I think it must have been all the rain we have been having, making puddles everywhere, that got me thinking about reflectionsr

Not just reflections in water, though they can set me off being quite profound!

When you look into a puddle
do you just look at the surface,
the scum, bits of paper, dirt?
Or do you look at the trees, the buildings?
Wonder at their wobbles
as the wind blows the surface?
Or do you look at the sky,
and ask about eternity?

No, I got to reflecting on my life. None of it seems to have been easy. Though not, of course, as hard as some have had. But it has been a struggle, never seeming to fit in, or deliver what was expected.

And now, just when the papers and magazines are full of advice as to "How to make the best of your life together now you are retired" sort of thing - you know, holidays in Spain, Africa, India, or Vietnam, Thailand and China. Be active, go walking, white water rafting, abseiling, parachute jumping! (For my friends across the pond, abseiling is called something different, only I can't think what it is, but it is descending rock faces with just a rope!)

But no-one tells you your plans can be halted, sliced off, just like that through sickness or disability.

If anyone had told me I would be disabled, I would have said, "Oh no, I've taken care of my body and health, that won't happen to me!"

Ha! These things strike the nicest people!

But there we are, funny sort of reflections I've been having. But I have lots of interests, a wonderful family, and some great blog friends. Would never have had time to blog if I'd been white water rafting all the time! ;)

So? Well, my life has made me what I am. I've done the best with what I was given, and am still open, I hope, to new ideas and experiences.

Now then, where did I put my writing pad and a nice sharp pencil......?
I have something stirring in my mind!


KathyA said...

Oh Gilly! A friend once told me, "You want to make the Fates laugh? Make plans." Sometimes I wonder if the call for us to white water raft, rock climb, et cetera, is just the way to save money on Social Security by culling the herd!!! :)

Cloudhands said...

I can really relate to having been distressed by becoming disabled after living as a healthy aware person for so long. I had a heart attack some years back and I was fighting mad. I had some pretty harsh words for my body's disrespect for my years of healthy eating and exercise.
The doctors put a stint in my heart and as far as I can tell, I'm just fine. At least until my body goes off course again, (knocking on wood). I have always heard that getting old is not for sissies. How true.
Oh, by the way here in America we call coming down a mountain by rope Rappelling.

CorvusCorax12 said...

"No, I got to reflecting on my life. None of it seems to have been easy. Though not, of course, as hard as some have had. But it has been a struggle, never seeming to fit in, or deliver what was expected."
you must have read my mind today LOL, been having similar thoughts.
I like what KathyA said though about making Fate laugh, maybe that is why i try not to make to many plans. My Sister also became disabled at the age of 37, i imaging she has the same questions at times, it definitely hasn't been an easy road.
Glad i found your Blog , insightful and i love the pictures

Anonymous said...

Oh Gilly, for once I am lost for words; this is such a beautiful post and I feel guilty at having come through my own scare of last week, and even having posted about it. We never know what is around the corner, which is perhaps just as well for I would have succumbed to despair years ago if I had known.

Sweet Virginia Breeze said...

Whenever I feel like complaining about my aches, pains, and inability to do the things I would like to do, I remind myself of all that I can do. Our struggles make us strong and encourage us to be thankful for what we do have.

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

I always think, well, if I can't ride my horses someday because I'm too old or I'm sick or something, at least I have my writing. What a gift we have been given!

kenju said...

"So? Well, my life has made me what I am. I've done the best with what I was given, and am still open, I hope, to new ideas and experiences."

That's the best line: doing the best with what you're given - and it's what matters most.

Diane said...

Hi Gilly. One of the reasons I started to follow your blog was because I found you very inspirational and open minded compared to most people that I know who are your age - especially my own mum. I try to enjoy whats good, when it is good. I hate the thought that nothing is forever (where the good things are concerned) but thats life. Very thought provoking post and cannot wait to see what you are up to!

VioletSky said...

I, too, have found your blog to be inspirational. I have had many conversations with people of varying ages (though mostly my age and older) and it is a real fear that once retired something will happen to scupper any plans of enjoying it to the fullest.
I like your positive outlook (though am sure it wavers, too...).

hmmm, word verification is sins ??
and I think the word you were searching for is rappelling as an alternate term for abseiling (not that that is on my agenda!!)

CorvusCorax12 said...

My dogs will do anything for cheese :), glad i found you!!

Glennis said...

Gilly, what a great post and wonderful thoughts. It's true no one expects to become disabled.

I am thinking about my mother, and also about myself.

I'm a bag of bruises, aches, pains, all from living an active life and taking some risks. My mother, at 80 now, became slowly weaker and weaker and almost died, because she never took any risks at all. She sat alone, not walking outside for fear she'd fall; witholding even food and water from herself for fear she'd have to get up at night, and fall. So then her legs atrophied so much she could barely walk. Fortunately after some therapy and a life change she is on the mend.

Yet here I am at 55, feeling my knees ache every time I climb a stair. I keep climbing the stairs, though, keep carrying the groceries up them. I don't know - maybe when I'm Mom's age my poor overworked legs will have given out.

You posts are food for thought - and you comments on my blog are very dear to me.

cheshire wife said...

I think that we all need some blue skies and sunshine to cheer us up!

Marja said...

You sure are in a time of reflection I love your little poem. Sorry that part of your life didn't turn out as you wished. That must be very hard. Life is unpredictable and we don't know why.

awareness said...

Gilly... I LOVE all these comments. YOu know one of the beautiful aspects I've learned since starting to blog was how reaffirming it is to know we're not alone in our thinking and feelings.... and in coping with aches and pains.

I never expected that connection with others. I read these comments left by people who have shared some of their thoughts and who can relate to your lovely reflective post and I'm reminded again of that sense of community. Its so encouraging.

awareness said...
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